


Reddie or Not

by DeadManWalked



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, Fuck Canon, Henry Bowers - Freeform, IT - Freeform, IT AU, Making it better, angst with happy ending, fixing the depression, gay repression, it chapter 2 - Freeform, reddie au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-03 20:47:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadManWalked/pseuds/DeadManWalked
Summary: Writing Reddie from IT chapter 2 but with a happier ever after!





	Reddie or Not

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished writing this beauty in the last day, so if there’s error don’t be surprised. Anyways, this is my first It based fan fiction but after watching Chapter 2 last night I needed to make things better. Sorry if there’s any inaccuracies, i wrote solely off my shit memory. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> TW: there is some hateful terms used in regards of sexuality (Bc fuck IT). Brief but present so beware if that’s something that you’re sensitive to!

When Richie entered the area reserved for the others with a bang, mind still boggled by his reunion with Bev and Ben, it didn't take long for him to spot Eddie. Even without remembering him the past 27 years, upon seeing him he could tell straight away. _There he is_, Richie thought, _there's Eds_.

He forced himself not to stare, instead standing behind Ben to silently express his shock at the previous fat kids newfound handsomeness. Eddie, as always, couldn't help but laugh and nod in agreement.

When Eddie first looked up upon the banging of the gong, a name he didn't know before popped up into his mind instantly. _Richie_. He ran his eyes over the other man, dressed casually with a sort of lingering sense of chaos, and laughed. He couldn't help but think that Richie hadn't changed at all, despite the fact that he couldn't remember who he was before.

"The Losers Club is now in session!" Richie announced before greeting the others.

The conversations started off stilted as they all sat around the table, but as the liquor flowed and the memories began coming back it didn't take long for the mood to shift. Light and easy, like a group of friends who never lost touch with one another. A sense of love washed over every member, a love rooted back 27 years, and it felt warm. That sense of dread and fear they had during Mikes call was long sense forgotten.

Richie was the one to spot Eddies wedding band first, feeling his stomach drop at the sight. He didn't let it show as he continued his jokes, most of which were teasing Eddie, before he brought it up.

"You got married?" He asked, a smile plastered on his face despite the fact that he wasn't happy.

"Yes," Eddie responded, trying to be proud of it even though under Richies eyes he felt anything but.

"To a woman?" Richie asked, listening as the others laughed. He laughed too, even though it was a serious question. _Eddie can't have married a woman_, Richie thought.

Feeling insulted by the supposed joke, Eddie yelled out, "Fuck you, Richie. Fuck you."

Their eyes lingered a moment and Eddie could've sworn he saw sadness in the others, but before anything was further said it was Ben who spoke up next. He was asking Richie the same question, asking if the jokester ever got married. It was Eddies turn to feel dread.

"No, there is no way Richie is married," Beverly laughed.

The others agreed but Richie interrupted them, "I've been married. Yeah, I was married. You didn't know that?"

Eddie shook his head, ignoring the sparks of pain he felt without reason. The others all turned in shock to Richie, wondering who on earth would possibly marry him. Growing up they all assumed that Richie would never want to get married. Eddie always hoped that he never would.

"Oh? Well, me and your mom are very happy together." Richie said, voice flooded with humor.

The group burst into laughter, knowing they should've expected that to be Richies response. Eddie shook his head, both relieved as well as furious, and expressed his feelings through profanity. Even as Richie laughed harder ("_He actually fell for it._”), Eddie couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement in his stomach. Somethings never change, he thought to himself as Richie started his Jabba the Hut voice in mimic of his mother. The familiarity that the idiotic 'your mom' joke brought him was unlike any other. A familiarity they both were glad still existed, their duo from childhood still flowed like a well oiled machine.

Then it all turned downhill when It made an appearance and they started to remember the darker things from the summer of 1989. When they remembered It. 

* * *

"This was fucking insane! Mike is fucking insane!" Eddie yelled as he started repacking his bags, knowing Richie was in the other room doing the same.

"They've always been fucking insane when it came to killing the goddamn killer clown! Like it's something normal people do. Mikes brain has blasted off to the looneys, Eds, and we need to get out of here before they drag us down with them." Richie yelled back.

That feeling of being afraid to the point he wanted to throw up came back again, but he swallowed it down as he re-zipped his suitcase and brought it towards the door. He took a moment to collect himself before walking over to Eddies room, waiting to see if he was ready to leave as well.

All he saw was the past repeating itself. Eddie has 2 suitcases and a carryon bag, two of which were solely dedicated to loads of medicine and medical supplies. All of which they both know Eddie doesn't need, just like he never did when he was a child. Richie felt his heart break at the sight, worried all over again about Eddie. 27 years ago when his friend found out that his medicine was fake, that he was never really sick, Richie had hoped Eddie would leave it all behind.

"Geez Eds, think you've got enough packed?" Richie asked.

Eddie looked up, surprised by the other mans presence, and blushed. "Myra would've gone crazy if I left the house without them. Statistically speaking, there's a higher chance of me needing them in a town harvesting a fucking demonic clown then anywhere else."

Richie simply nodded, but they both knew what he wanted to say. Eddie wasn't sick, he didn't need a suitcase full of medicine. Myra was the same as Eddies mother was, just as controlling and afraid. _Somethings never change_. Eddie felt ashamed of his relapse, even though he had no reason to care about what Richie thinks of him. He loves Myra...right?

"And don't call me Eds, Richie. You know I hate that."

Richie smiled, remembering all those times the other man insisted that. "Well hurry the fuck up. If you aren't packed soon then I'm leaving without you, hell I'll throw you to the damn clown myself."

Then, just as they were both so close to running away with their lives and sanity still in tact, they heard Beverly. Heard their destiny to die a terrible death. Big Bill and Mike we're back and joined them in the lobby. It seems as though they wouldn't be able to escape this time.

* * *

"How the hell is this shithole still standing?" Richie mumbled as he joins the others in the old bunker. "Smells like Eds moms room."

"Beep Beep, Richie,” Bill muttered.

They all turned around the room, remembering those countless summer days they spent in here, and became lost in memory. Ben ran his fingers across the walls that he helped build, Mike looked over the rotting posters half hanging on the wall, and Beverly flipped through the old magazines laying on the floor.

Richie watched as Eddie walked over and picked up what remained of the old paddleball he broke so long ago, laughing to himself. Eddie remembered how he broke it, immediately after Ben told him to be careful, while trying to annoy Stan. He remembered how later that night when he and Stan walked home, Stan jokingly told him "_you've been hanging out with Richie too much. I think he's wearing off on you. Keep it up and I might have to start beeping you too_."

When Eddie looked up and Richie rushed to look another way, found himself staring at the ceiling like an idiot. Luckily he was saved from his embarrassment by Stan the Man...or at least his can of hair-caps. Richie remembered the day that Stanley introduced them, giving a flowery cap to each of the losers for "protection from spiders".

He remembered that was one of his favorite days that summer. All the losers hanging out together, basking in carelessness and joy before It took that all away. He walked over to the rags of the hammock that remained, the soul reason behind his fondness of that day. How he promised he'd give up his turn on the hammock after ten minutes but purposely didn't so that he could tease Eddie.

The shock he felt when Eddie climbed into the hammock alongside him, refusing to give up without a fight. A tradition that would continue a few times afterwards, leading closer and closer to their final encounter with It. It took everything in him that day not to panic at the proximity of Eddie, how close they sat together in surprising comfort. Almost as if they'd done this a dozen times before.

They couldn't keep their hands off each other that day, though their contact usually revolves around fucking with the other in order to annoy them. Stanley had tried at some point to get them to move since he wanted a turn, but it didn't take long for him to realize the two boys were relishing their moment while they could. Stan had a suspicion that there was more to Richie and Eddies relationship than simple friendship, but this was a thought he'd keep to himself forever.

"Stan was afraid we wouldn't still be friends when we grew up," Bill said, sadness thick in his voice. "We thought it would be impossible to not be."

"Then you all forgot when you left Derry," Mike finished, sadness in his eyes.

Richie found himself pushing up the brim of his glasses (_god, remember how Eds knocked your glasses off that day_) and felt the loss of his friend overcome him yet again. It felt more real now, standing here without him. Stanley was gone. Dead.

"What do you think he was like as a grown up?"

"Probably what he was like when he was a kid," Richie said. "The best."

Eddie was watching him, the rare moments where Richie allowed himself to be vulnerable reminding him that Richie wasn't unaffected, and frowned to himself. He missed Stan too, but Richie was the closest to Stan outside of Bill. Then his eyes flickered to the hammock and he found himself missing more than just his old friend, but missing the past entirely. Missing how close he once was to Richie.

"Why are we here, Mike?"

And so they were told about the rituals. About the tokens they needed to find by themselves. That fear, deeply rooted inside them, came back tenfold because now they were beginning. Alone. _I don't want to be alone_, Eddie thought as they climbed outside again, _I'm scared_.

The losers all split off to go their own way, except for Richie and Eddie. They walked together in silence, lost in the thoughts of what they were heading to. They knew that soon their paths would split and they'd be forced to go their own ways, but for now they relished not being alone.

"Do you know where you're going?" Eddie asked as they turned the street corner.

"Yeah, I know. Gonna stop by your moms place and pick up the knickers she was wearing when we were alone that day," Richie said, forcing humor into their lingering fear yet again.

"Fuck off, asshole. I'm being serious, do you know?"

"Yeah, Eds. I know."

They approached the street corner that would split their paths. Richie was the one to stop, alerting Eddie to the reality of the situation. This is it. He would have to keep going straight in order to reach the old pharmacy and Richie was about to turn right and go god knows where. They might never see each other again...It might get them first.

"I guess I'll see you on the other side," Eddie said softly. "Be careful and don't let It get you."

"Don't worry your little ass, Eddie my love. I'll make it back for dinner," Richie winked as he turned and began to cross the street.

_God, I hope so_, Eddie thought miserably as he continued forward.

* * *

Richie found himself outside the rundown building that used to be his favorite place outside the clubhouse in the Barrens. The arcade, where he wasted most his allowance and time. Time didn't treat it well, with the door glass being replaced with yellowed newspaper. When he walked inside the arcade games were covered in a thick layer of dust and cobwebs.

He remembers coming to the arcade that day when the losers split. All he wanted to do was waste his last couple dollars on Street Fighter, hopefully regaining his number one position. Normally he would've come with Eddie, Bill, or Stan but he didn't mind playing with the blonde boy that he'd sometimes seen around school. Actually, he really liked it.

He remembered thinking the boy was cute, especially since he kicked ass in the games that day. He enjoyed the close proximity they shared, shoulders occasionally bumping or hands brushing, almost as much as he did when it was him and Eddie playing. So when the kid said he had to go Richie couldn't help but ask for one last game. Partly because he liked the idea but mainly because he didn't want to be alone.

"You never should've asked, fucking moron." Richie whispered to himself as he recalled the cold harsh words Bowers shouted at him that day.

Richie replaced his quarter in exchange for the arcade token and left faster than he'd done that day all those years ago. He walked absentmindedly, not quite ready to head back to the hotel to meet the others. Those horrible words Bowers yelled at him echoed in his ears, reminding him of why he'd never find real love, until the noise was replaced with the sound of cheerleading.

Richie looked up and found himself standing before the large statue that once came to life and chased him down. A statue that dug trenches in the park grass with its large axe, scaring him shitless (literally).

"Fuck you Paul Bunyan."

"Beep Beep, Richie." A snarling voice said.

Pennywise appeared suddenly on the statue, a large red grin slathered across his pale white face. The clown was as large as the statues head, holding a upside-down pyramid of red balloons. Richie became frozen in place, fear flooding his like a wave of arctic water.

"Do you want to play a game? You like games, don't you Richie? How about Street Fighter, I know you _really_ liked playing that one didn't ya?" The clown asked, growing bigger with each word.

"Oh, but you don't like Truth or Dare, right? No, you never did. Don't want to pick truth in case you have to tell it. No, you don't want them to know you se-cret. You have a very big secret, don't you Richie?"

Pennywise began to float down now, closer and closer to where Richie was frozen. The cheers and talking stopped now, all that remained was the pounding of his heart and the growling bite of Pennywise's words. The truth behind them because It always knows the truth somehow.

"I know your secret, Richie. I know that you're a dirty little cock sucker! Ha ha, yes isn't that right Richie? You're a disgusting little cocksucker with the hots for your precious Eds! Don't you know that he never liked your little trash mouth, no he's married. He's not a fa—"

"Fuck you, dickwad!" Richie shouted before running away as fast as possible. He could hear the distant echoes of the clowns laugh following him, but he never stopped running.

* * *

Richie was done, he'd decided upon arriving back to the hotel. It took everything in him upon seeing Bev and Ben not to scream at them to leave, to save themselves before it was too late. Instead he said nothing but that he was leaving, rushing to his room to grab his bags. He sat down for a moment to breathe, pushing his glasses up with shaking hands and trying not to cry.

"Beverly said you were leaving," Ben said as he walked through the open door. "You can't just leave, Richie. We made a promise to kill It and now we have to."

"I promised my mom I wouldn't smoke, but we don't always do what we say we would! So fuck a shitty promise we made years ago just after our balls dropped and we thought playing in the barrens was fun! Fuck it all, Ben."

"Richie-"

"No, shut your hot mouth up. If you had any brains left in you, you'd leave too. Get the fuck out of here before It kills us. Screw a fucking Native Americans ritual that was probably the product of too much weed in the old days." Richie said, grabbing his bag to leave before Ben blocked the exit.

"No, Richie. We need each other. We need you. You heard big bill, we're the only ones who can do this," Ben said, a deep frown on his face. "What did It show you earlier, Richie?"

"Naked ugly man Noris from the convenience store off 5th," Richie deadpanned.

"No," Ben stated as he moved closer. "It's okay to be scared, Richie. You don't have to tell us what It showed you, but we're hear for you."

Ben forced him into a hug, holding him close and tight. Tears prickled Richies eyes as he hugged the man back, trying to control his breathing so he wasn't heard crying. Instead, once he heard the sound of someone walking up the stairs, Richie said,

"If I say I'll stay, will you stop being such a pussy and let me go?"

Ben laughed and moved away nodding. So Richie said he'd stay, just like he once told Eddie that he'd move off the hammock after 10 minutes. Both were a lie, but when did that ever stop him? So the second Ben was out of sight, Richie moved to open his bedroom window before the sound of rapid footsteps heading towards the bathroom at the end of the hall were heard. Rapid footsteps that could only belong to Eddie Kaspbrak.

Richie rushed to the hallway just before the other guy could open the bathroom door, "Jesus Eds, What the hell took a shit on you?"

It was his way of saying "_thank god your alive, but also what the fuck are you okay?_" He wished he could've said something else, about how he was glad Eddie wasn't dead on the side of the street somewhere. Or about how he worried about him since the moment he left. But when one man was covered in black goop and the haunting taunts of Pennywise still lingered in the back of his mind, concerned jokes was the best he had to offer.

"A fucking leaper just threw up in my mouth, Richie. Right in my fucking mouth!" Eddie exclaimed exasperated. "Fuck that goddamn clown."

Before Richie could respond the other man walked into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Eddie turned on the faucet the start scrubbing himself clean of whatever the hell was on him, in him, but his mind wandered back to Richie. _Thank fuck_, he thought in relief. Nobody was hurt yet, nobody has died yet, and most importantly Richie was back.

Unfortunately for Eddie, so was Bowers. Turning around he didn't have time to react before a large silver knife was shoved into his cheek, blood flooding his mouth as his tongue laid below the cold metal of the blade.

"What the fuck, Bowers?" Eddie exclaimed, shocked by the return of the man as well as the pain. "30 fucking years and you still haven't gotten rid of the goddamn mullet?"

"You're fucking dead, Wheezy!" Henry Bowers shouted.

"I need a moment," Eddie said as he backed into the bathtub and slowly closed the curtain.

He mentally prepared himself, listening as Bowers stalked closer to the tub while taunting him, to pull out the blade. Only when Bowers came to a complete stop and time was out did he manage to yank the blade from his cheek and stab it forward.

"Fuck you, you fucking bitch!" He yelled, blood spilling from his mouth, as he repeatedly stabbed Bowers.

Stepping out of the tub Eddie rushed out the door and slammed it shut just as Bev, Ben, and Richie all came rushing towards the noise. Blood spilled from his mouth as he told them about Bowers before slowly falling only to be caught by Richie.

"Holy shit," Richie whispered as he slowly moved them both to rest on the floor.

His heart raced rapidly in his chest at the sight, telling Beverly to get a towel. When she came back (Bowers now gone) he snatched the towel from her hand and pushed it against Eds cheek, applying pressure. The whole time he whispered a mixture of words of assurance and profanity.

"I just stabbed Henry Bowers," Eddie told him with a painful laugh. "Like 6 times, Rich, you should've seen it. Told him his fucking mullet was shitty, too."

Richie laughed softly, "That's fucking awesome, Eds."

* * *

"There you go, all stitched up. Make sure you change the bandages and clean the wound every 4-6 hours. Here's some pain medication for when needed, and you'll be good to get the stitches out in a few weeks." The nurse said as she took the discharge papers from the boys and left. 

"Come on, Eds. We've gotta meet up with the others at the library," Richie said as he helped Eddie up from the table and towards the emergency room exit.

"What if I get aids? Or malaria? Fuck knows what was on that knife, Richie. I could ducking die! Maybe we should go back and double check with the nurses."

Richie grabbed Eddies arm as he turned to re-enter and forced him into the passenger side seat. He started his car and pulled out, heading through the empty streets of Derry. He occasionally looked over at a worried Eddie, who was poking his cheek bandages softly. _He's alright, he's fine. He's not dead and he's gonna he just fine_, he thought to himself.

Then, suddenly, Richie found himself pulling to a stop outside the entrance to the Synagogue that Stan used to go to. The itinerary outside the doors stated: _In memory of Stanley Uris_.

"What's up, Richie? Why'd we stop?"

Richie drove into the parking lot and got out without another word. He kept going, despite the distant protests, until he walked into the unopened doors and sat in the row he once had many years ago. Stanley's Bar Mitzvah, which he only invited Richie to. Richie wasn't sure why he would invite the most crude and inappropriate of his friends to the most important ceremony of his life...until the end of course.

"What's up, Richie? Why are we here?" Eddie asked, more concerned now, as he sat besides his friend.

"You know when we were kids Bill was the one I looked up to the most? Big Bill, the bravest of us all. He was my hero," said Richie solemnly.

"Yeah. I think we all looked up to Bill. He was the best of us, I think. I used to want to be just like him."

_When I gathered my courage to try, I became Eds. The person you saw me as_, Eddie thinks to himself.

"This is where that all changed for me. The day of Stan's bar mitzvah was the day he became my hero. When he told his father, the rabbi, and the entire Jewish community of Derry that he was a loser and didn't give a flying fuck about being a man." Richie said, laughing despite the tears swelling in his eyes. "God, his dad was pissed."

"I think Stan was upset they were going to cut his dick off," Eddie mumbled.

Richie laughed until it turned into a chocked cry, "I miss him, Eds. I didn't even remember him and now I'll never get the chance. It's not fucking fair."

Eddies hand reached out and grabbed Richies. He squeezed it tight as he shed his own tears. The mixture of mourning, pain, and fear was starting to overwhelm him. So he held on to that hand tighter than ever, closing his eyes and trying to relish the feeling. The balancing core that is Richie.

"Anyways," Richie said as he cleared his voice. "Let's go find the others and fuck shit up."

* * *

"Holy fucking shit! What did you just do? Shit!" 

"I fucking killed Henry Bowers."

Richie and Eddie both looked at each other in shock, before Richie ran to the nearest trash can and threw up that mornings breakfast. Eddie helped Mike up just as Beverly and Ben walked in with a large duffle bag and shocked faces.

"What the hell happened?" Beverly asked, moving to make sure Richie was alright.

"Richie killed Bowers after he attacked me," Mike explained with a wince. "Where were you guys? Where's Bill?"

"Bill came back to the hotel talking about a boy and then took off. I—I think he's going to try and kill It by himself. Ben and I figured if we were going to kill the son of a bitch we'd need some weapons." Beverly explained, opening the duffel bag to reveal a couple guns and knives.

"Where the fuck did you get all that?" Eddie asked, moving to Richies side.

"We live in America. It wasn't that hard," Ben shrugged.

"We have to stop Bill from going alone. We know where he's going and it's the same place the last part of the ritual takes place. Are you guys ready?" Mike asked as he took one of the two guns for himself.

They all nodded, reluctant but certain. Richie turned to Eddie, fear behind his eyes, and waited. It was a look that said _If you don't want to go, I'll support you_. Eddie responded with a small painful smile, squeezing Richies arm, and then grabbing the smallest knife in the bag. His hands shook as he looked down at it, so Richie didn't hesitate to take it from him instead. An action that spoke the same thing as everything Richie used to do for Eddie when they were younger. It said "_I'll protect you, Eds. Don't you worry your pretty little heart._"

* * *

"Why the hell did you only get enough for 4 people when there's 6 of us, guys? Are two of us supposed to stand around waving our hands at It in hopes that fast movements will scare it off?"

"Beep Beep, Richie."

"Ah for fucks sake, let's just get this shit over with."

They all started heading towards the entrance to the house off Neibolt Street. Beverly and Bill had the only guns, since they had the best aim, while Ben and Richie had the knives. Richie turned to Eddie in concern when the other didn't follow. Beverly did the same, moving forward when Richie couldn't bring himself to. _Fucking killer clown hunting in a demon house and you're too scared to talk to your best friend_, He thought to himself.

"Here, use this." Beverly told Eddie as she handed him the old spear she once used against It. "It's a devil killer."

"Is it really?" Eddie asked, voice so small that he was suddenly a child again.

"Only if you believe it is."

It didn't take long for the plan to fall apart after they entered the threshold of the house. The losers found themselves separated, magically locked away in two different rooms. Richie and Eddie could hear the distant screams of Ben on the other side. Bill was banging on the door desperately, tempted to use the gun but withholding due to his limited bullets. Then the fridge started making noise.

"Well that can't be good," Richie mumbles as the noise grew louder before the door slowly swung open.

"Ah Shit," Eddie groaned as they saw the crushed up body of Stanley Uris inside.

Stan's eyes snapped open and his mouth spread into a wicked grin, bugs crawling out of it. All three boys felt their stomachs drop, dread and fear boiling up inside.

"You did this to me, Bill! This is all your fault," Stan yelled.

"No, no it isn't."

Then Stanley's head began to change with large spider legs ripping out of him. They grew out of his eyes, nose, and ears. The face of their old friend morphed into a zombie head that slowly stalked out of its place in the refrigerator and ran straight for a petrified Richie.

"Holy fucking fuck!" Eddie shouted.

Before it could reach him, Bill kicked out his foot and sent it flying into the wall. It took the impact gracefully, rolling back onto its legs to try again. All the while Stanley was screaming at them, large fangs chomping wildly and drool following him all the while. Eddie remained glued to the corner of the kitchen, frozen in fear, as the head raced towards him.

"Eat shit, fuckhead!" Richie shouted as he kicked the head away from Eddie, sending it flying outside a hole in the wall. "You alright Eds?"

Eddie nodded before everyone froze again. They could hear the clicking of the legs echoing around the outside of the room. Bill looked around the area for where it was, but it was Richie who found it. Drool dropped down from the ceiling into his forehead that forced him to look up at It.

"Oh shit," He whispered before Spider Stanley launched itself into him.

The force of It threw him on to his back, making him lose grip of his knife. Eddie looked down for his spear, only to realize he'd dropped it in the other room when the group got separated. Richie was screaming now, feeling the drool from Stanley's hungry mouth covering him, as Bill ran forward and tried to force It off him. The large legs wrapped themselves tightly around Richies head, pulling him closer and closer.

Eddie was paralyzed, eyes glued to the scene before him. Distantly he heard the screaming and shouts from Bill to grab the knife, but he couldn't bring himself to do more than hold still. _I can't breathe_, Eddie thought to himself as he watched hopelessly. He was petrified that he was about to lose Richie, that It was going to kill him now while he stood by and did nothing. _Richie_, he thought desperately, _Not Richie, please not him_.

The door burst open and Ben slammed his blade into Stanley's head. The legs recoiled as Stan screamed in pain before Bill grabbed it and threw it as far as he could. The head as still for a moment before standing, knife deeply lodged in the head, and rolling away. Richie was gasping for breath, sputtering out the thick chunks of drool from his mouth.

"What the hell was that, Eddie?" Bill yelled as he stood up. "Richie could've died! Why didn't you do anything? Did you want him to fucking die, were you just going to let him?"

"Bill-" Beverly started before he continued.

"What the fuck were you thinking? Are you trying to get us all killed?" He said, holding tightly onto Eddie’s shoulder.

Tears flooded Eddies eyes in shame, "P-Please don't be mad at me Bill. Please don't be mad. I-I was just scared. I'm sorry, I was just scared."

Eddies voice was so small that all the losers were reminded of who he was all those years ago. He sounded so young and afraid, worried that he'd let down Big Bill. Let them all down. Bill stepped back, suddenly aware of how harsh he was being, and nodded. Eddies bottom lip trembled as he wiped the tears from his face.

"I'm sorry, Richie." He said quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Don't worry about it, Eds." Richie said, pulling Eddie into a hug with shaking hands. "It's not your fault."

Eddie hugged him back before the group decided it was time to go to the basement. When they separated Richie cracked a grin and ruffled Eddies hair. Then he bent down for his knife and gave it to Ben.

"I have butter fingers anyways. Besides, if we all fucking die then it's not on me since you're the one with the knife, fat buns." Richie explained with a wink.

"You dropped this, Eddie," Beverly said as she handed him the spear.

"Now let's go kill this fucking clown," Richie announced, walking out of the kitchen with a falsified sense of confidence. 

* * *

"Fucking grey water," Eddie groaned, moving stiffly through the sewers. 

"This is it, This is where It lives." Beverly said as they approached the end of the tunnel and looked at the vast remains of Its lair.

"You know, I really fucking hoped I'd never have to come back to this shit hole again. When all is said and done, I'm sewing you rich pricks for emotional distress," Richie states as they began to swim over to the island in the center.

"Beep-"

"Beep me one more time Beverly darling and I might seriously have to sacrifice you to a devilish clown."

Richie climbed onto the island before turning and helping Eddie. He turned to help Beverly before she shouted out and was suddenly submerged underwater. Ben and Bill both dived head first after her, before Richie sighed and went to go as well with his heart in his stomach. _Please let her be okay_, he thought.

"Stay up here, Eds. No reason for us all to go and you're hurt." He said before going under as well.

Eddie stayed back and waited desperately, eyes glued to the water as he waited for anyone to pop up. It was becoming harder and harder to breath or think. _What if none of them come back up? What if It got them?_ He stalked closer to the edge just as the surface broke and they all came back up gasping for air. Beverly was held tightly in bens arms as they all swam closer to the island before they stood in the center.

"You want us to go down this creepy ass hole?" Richie asked exasperated, pushing his glasses up again.

Mike nodded, moving down and opening the latch. He then went in feet first and it was no longer a choice. Now they all had to go and possibly never come back.

"Guys, I-I don't know if I can do this. I mean, shit, you saw me back there! I froze and Richie could've died. I could get you all killed!" Eddie exclaimed as panic began to consume him.

"You can do this, Eddie," Ben reassures as he crawled in after Beverly.

Eddie reached for his inhaler, desperate to force the air back into his lungs, before Richie stopped him. They struggled together for the right to the inhaler, Eddie desperately trying to breathe it in. When he started to randomly pump it in the air and try to inhale it that way Richie got the upper hand and snatched it from him.

"Stop it, Eddie. That's enough. You don't need this and you never have. You don't need the bullshit medicines because you're not sick and you never have been!"

"I'm scared, Richie. I can't do this."

"Of course you can! You're braver than you think. Who defeated a fucking demonic clown when he was 14?"

Eddie smiled, "Me."

"Who stabbed Henry fucking Bowers with a knife he pulled out of his own goddamn face?"

"Me."

"Who married a woman 10 times his own body mass?" Richie asked with a shit eating grin.

Eddie paused a moment before responding, "Me."

"Exactly! You're a badass motherfucker, Eds, and you're going to kick this clowns ass. I trust you," Richie said, cupping Eddies face in his hands a moment before forcing himself to let go and crawl into the hole.

Eddie followed afterwards, no longer afraid thanks to the other mans words. He had to make it up to Richie for freezing. _I can't ever do that again_, he thought to himself as he gripped the spear harder. He was going to be Eds, the man that Richie always believed him to be.

"By the way, Eds, when we get out of this shit hole we're going to have a serious conversation about why you married your fucking mom."

"Go fuck yourself, Trashmouth!”

* * *

They all watched as a red balloon blossomed from the container, larger and larger.

"Mikey, I hate to tell you this but I think your ritual didn't fucking work!" Richie shouted.

"Help me close it! Come on guys we have to stop before It breaks free," Mike shouted out as he laid all his pressure into the lid.

Ben jumped forward and slammed the knife into the ballon only for the blade to bend completely in half upon impact. Beverly aimed her gun at it and fired, but the bullet ricocheted and almost hit Bill. They all were forced to retreat until the balloon was the size of a mountain before it exploded with such a bang they were all left stunned and deaf.

Eddie regained his senses and searched desperately for Richie. He crawled over and steadied the other man, grabbing the thick square classes from where they sat on the floor and placing them back onto Richie's face. Richie nodded in thanks before they both turned themselves towards a ginormous crackling Pennywise, whose body was that of an arachnid with limbs as long as towers.

"Holy fuck!"

"You've got to be shitting me."

When It decided to stop taunting them, it turned to chasing them all away. Eddie and Richie hid behind a large boulder as they watched Ben and Beverly running through a tunnel, Mike dove behind a large alien shrapnel, and Bill dove into a deep pit of water.

"Oh shit! Can he see us?" Eddie asked.

They both turned as a large tentacle full of teeth slithered towards them and they took off running. Richie tripped and twisted his ankle, causing Eddie to grab him and pull him back up just before the teeth latched onto the man. He kept a tight hold of Richie's hand as they continued to sprint far and fast before coming upon the doors.

Not Scary At All, Scary, and finally Very Scary

"Oh shit, you've got to be fucking kidding me." Richie groaned as he looked from each door to the other.

"Well, not scary at all right?"

"No, no, no, no, no. Shit. He's, uh, he's fucking with us."

"Well, which one do we fucking choose?" Eddie asked, looking to Richie for guidance.

"I know his fucking game. It's reversed so he can trick you. We have to open that one," he pointed to Very Scary.

"Fuck, Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. Just...trust me. What's the worst this shit fuck could possibly do?"

Richie used his free hand to open the door slowly, revealing a closet. _You've got to be shitting me_, he thought to himself. Awkwardly they both looked at each other, back to the closet, and each other again. Eddie flushed deeply and let go of Richie's hand. Richie stepped forward and pulled the dangling light cord to turn it on. A pair of legs cane walking out towards them, causing both of them to scream and slam the door shut.

"He's not fucking with us! Where the fuck was it's head?" Richie panted as he moved to the Not Scary door. He looked to Eddie, who nodded, then opened the door.

A small Pomeranian puppy sat on the floor, looking at them curiously.

"Oh shit."

"No way am I falling for this shit again."

"It's gotta be a trick...right? I know your moves, you little bitch!" Richie whispered shouted, staring at the puppy in bewildered fear.

Eddie looked back and saw the tentacle was gone, pointing it out to Richie. Then, they both turned back to the dog.

"Sit," Richie said and the puppy sat. "Alright, that is kind of cute."

Eddie began gushing to the dog in a baby voice, telling it how good of a boy it was. Then, the dog transfigured into a huge skeleton beast and growled right in Eddies face, causing them both to scream. Richie hurriedly slammed the door shut.

"Come on, lets go back."

They both ran back through the tunnel together and when they arrived back to the opening they saw It looming over Mike. Richie reached down on the ground to grab the two largest rocks he could find. Then he moved on top of the surface beside him and chucked one as hard as he could.

"Hey asshole!" Richie yelled, grabbing Its attention as he lifted the next rock. "You're a sloppy bitch! Yippee Ki Yay, motherfuck—"

Before anyone could react Pennywise opened his mouth wide and presented the three dead lights, capturing Richie in a hypnotic trance. Richie's eyes glossed over as he floated higher and higher, soul completely subjected to the will of It.

"Richie!" Eddie cried out in a heartbreaking shout. He looked to it and felt his heart attack him with the fear. The knowledge that if he didn't do something, this time Richie really would die. "You can do this, Eds," he whispered to himself.

Then he lifted the spear and threw it as hard as he possibly could, watching as it punctured the clowns large white skull and broke the trance. Richie fell with a thud on the rock and Eddie didn't waste a second running after him.

"Hey, Richie. Richie, come on wake up," He repeated as he tried to shake Richie back into consciousness.

Richie's eyes remained milky, however. Eddie grew more worried at the mans remaining unconsciousness, shaking him more frantically now. He kept crying out his name, trying to figure out how to bring him back. _He's gotta wake up_, Eddie thought. Then it hit him like a semi, full force and knocked the air out of him. _Ben had to kiss Beverly_.

So he swallowed back his fear and pressed forward, his lips desperately meeting Richie's. A kiss he's always wanted, but dreamed of it being under different circumstances. Despite this he kissed him as passionately as he could, allowing his love for Richie overcome his fear of his feelings. When he pulled back he smiled brightly after seeing the color return to Richie's brown eyes, not even capable of embarrassment at his actions.

Eddie helped Richie stand, "I did it, Richie! I got the clown, I fucking killed It! Did you fucking see me the—"

Suddenly where was blood and Eddie was screaming, It's mouth was clamped down on his arm. Richie made eye contact with the beasts large golden eyes before It ripped the arm off and retreated back into the center of the room, blood dripping down Its white mask while laughing.

"Richie?" Eddie cries as he falls forward.

Richie catches him, faintly hearing the cries of the others as they raced towards them. All he could focus on was Eddie, who was crying out in pain as blood continued to spew from the cutoff point. _No no, not Eddie_.

"It's okay, Eds, everything's going to be okay. Just don't move too much, alright? You're going to be okay, I promise." Richie whispered, ripping off his jacket and holding it flush against the wound.

"Richie-"

"Did anyone ever tell you you talk too much, Eds? Don't look at me like that, you're going to be fine. Promise," He said, cradling Eddies face in his free hand.

"H-holy Shit," Bill stuttered quietly. "Wh-wha-what d-do we do?"

"We've got to cut off the wound. A tourniquet or something," Beverly whispered, brushing back Eddies hair softly.

"Mike, Bill, and I will distract It while you guys get back through the hole we went through to get here. Then we'll actually kill the son of a bitch and get the fuck out of here." Ben states, taking off his belt and handing it to Beverly.

"I-I thought I killed It." Eddie whispered quietly, feeling himself growing faint.

"You almost did, Eds. It's okay, we're gonna take care of you. Ju-just hold tight, okay?" Richie said, feeling as if his whole world was in his hands and he was about to lose it.

"Don't call me Eds, you know I...I..." Eddie began before passing out from the blood loss, the hand that had reached out for Richie fell.

Richie wiped away his tears with bloody hands as Beverly finished trying off the bloodied stub with the jacket and belt. He forced himself to stand back up, wrapping his arm around Eddies waist, and together they both ran as fast as they could towards the thin crack. They heard the sounds both guns popping off as the men fought to distract the force, drawing it away as its screams echoed the cavern. Richie carefully pushed Eddie through before following alongside Beverly, who made it through just before It's large claw slammed down on where they were standing.

"Guys!" Beverly screamed, "We made it, come on!"

The boys fired the last of their bullets, drawing It back just enough for them to have time to run. They sprinted as fast as possible, diving into the cave, with It trailing behind. Meanwhile, Richie had carefully set Eddie down just beside the tunnel out, holding him closely with two fingers pressed against the others wrist as a reminder that the mans heart was still beating. 

"Now what the hell do we do, Mike? We don't have any weapons or time before Eddie...What do we do?" Beverly asked, voice broken. 

"It needs to come through if It wasn't to get us. Here it will be forced to become smaller, and therefore vulnerable. We just have to make it small enough to kill," Mike explained, panting softly and grasping at his bruised ribs.

"There's more than one way to make something feel small. Words. If we use them enough, make It feel small, then we can defeat it," Beverly suggested.

"O-or we can j-just beat the sh-shit out of it." Said Bill, who's eyes were flooded with a darkness. A hatred.

"How about we do both to the fucker?" Richie found himself suggesting, closing his eyes as he felt that small beat under his fingers. _We need to hurry, god please_.

Just then they heard the crackling of bones compressing as It shrunk down and began to crawl through the crawl space, golden trained on them with a wicked grin. They all scrambled back as they watched each of Its spider legs creep through and into the space. It was the same size as them by the time it was completely through. Richie kisses Eddie softly on the cheek before joining the others.

"Fuck you motherfucker!" Richie yelled as he threw a large rock near by and hit It right in the forehead. "You ratchet ass bitch. You're not shit, do you hear me? You're just a fake fucking clown.

"You don't scare me anymore, asshole!" Beverly yelled out, kicking out a leg and causing it to fall flat. "You don't mean shit to any of us. You're pathetic and weak. You take children because you're not strong enough to pick on someone your own size." 

"You're the fat lonely kid, prick!" Ben shouts as he punched It's face as hard as possible, avoiding the mouth.

"You're a bitch and i hate you," Bill said as he stalked closer. "But I'm not afraid of you. I'm going to kill you, because you don't scare me anymore. You stopped scaring me a long time ago!"

Bill spat on It. Pennywise began to shrink into himself, face changing to the many forms it once took on, and cried out. It tried denying the truth, tried to block out their words, but there wasn't fear anymore. There was no fear to feed on and thrive, instead he found himself shrinking and withering away. The losers kept yelling out words of hatred, demeaning the being that was supposed to be all powerful, and eventually all grouped together and started to beat the shit out of It.

Soon it was tiny, a deflated balloon child, and begging for mercy. Begging for freedom and power, but denied it just as it had to them. It was alone and scared, but they didn't care. They towered over It, reminding it how small it's become, and came to a stop as Mike kneeled down and reached into the chest. When he pulled it out the three dead lights sat in his hand before he closed his fist. Then each loser laid their hands over his until the dead lights were submerged in darkness. _Snuff the light out with the dark. It doesn't live anymore. It's gone now, lost in the dark and never to return again_.

They all sighed in relief, except for Richie who rushed back to Eddies side and picked him up. The world began to shake and crumble all around them, reminding them that it was time to go. Richie went up first before reaching down and pulling Eddie up while Bill pushed from below. Then they all went back through the water, though Richie took extra caution to keep Eddies wounds dry. _Eddie would kill me if he got a staph infection or some shit from the grey water_, he thought to himself.

Together Richie and Bill held Eddie up as they raced through the tunnels and back up into the basement of Neibolt house. The building was crumbling around them, shaking and groaning, but all Richie focused on was their escape. On keeping Eddie alive until they arrived to the hospital. He continued forward even as the house crumbled behind him, ignoring the world as he held tightly to the man he loves.

* * *

"How the fuck are we not in jail?" Richie asked the others after a week passed in Derry. "Somehow Bowers body and any sign of it disappeared and these idiots actually believed that Eddie got attacked by a bear. When the fuck has there ever been a bear attack in Derry?!"

"Beep Beep, Richie." Bill said, waiting for his car.

Its been a week since they killed It and they all stayed. Richie suggested after Eddie was rushed to surgery that night that they should wait to see if they really won. They already knew the truth, but they agreed because they knew he just needed them there while he waited for Eddie to wake up. However, the assurance that It was gone after the children stopped going missing was something they all were thankful to have. 

"All that matters is we all made it out alive and we're okay now," said Mike.

Richie's eyes flooded with worry again as they flickered back to the hospital entrance doors. That same sense of fear came back to him, like it did when he found out Eddie was in the hospital all those years before, and he wanted desperately to go back inside. The losers looked at him with an understanding empathy.

"Honey," Beverly whispered and regained his attention. "Eddie's going to be okay. He's already woken up a few time and the doctors said he'll recover."

"He's strong," Ben added.

"I'm not worried. The little shit is just gonna be a pain in the ass when he gets discharged and i have to take him home. You know him, crying and whining about the zippers on his jacket or something," Richie laughed, weak and forced.

The others said nothing because they all knew the truth. Knew his fear and his love. They all saw it since they were children, listening to the two boys bicker like a married couple. They all saw the kiss back in the cavern that brought Richie back, like Bens once did for Beverly. 

Who's cab pulled up in that moment. They both took their turns hugging everyone goodbye before climbing in to leave, they'd stayed long enough. _So Big Ben got the girl...who'd've thought?_Richie couldn't help rolling his eyes at the look of loss on Bills face.

"Bill, I love you to death, but you have a hot babe of a wife back at home." Richie said. "In case your willy and previous teenage hormones have made you forget that."

"I didn't, and I'm happy for them. It's just h-hard to see them leave...what if we all forget again?" Bill asked.

"It's a risk we'll have to take. Tell you what, while I'm staying back to pack my things I'll give you all a call," Mike suggests with a small smile.

"Fuck that shit, you're never allowed to call me again Mike. Almost 30 fucking years and the only time you called was about a fucking clown, so you've lost that privilege."

Mike barked out a laugh as he clapped Richie's shoulder. Then he pulled them both in for a tight hug and bid them farewell, heading over to his rundown truck. Then it was just the two of them, Bill and Richie, left standing outside the hospital entrance. Richie sighed as he sat on the curb, knowing that soon it would just be him.

"How are you, Richie?" Bill asked as he sat besides him.

"Fucking fabulous, darling. You wouldn't believe the week I've had!" Richie said in one of his new voices, a old wealthy British woman who might be a lesbian but we don't say it out loud.

"Beep Beep, Trashmouth." Bill chuckles under his breath. "What are you going to do after this? When Eddie gets good enough to discharge?"

"Your mom," Richie tried weakly, knowing it wasn't going to be enough for Bill. Big Bill, who always saw through the jokes. Who always forced the truth out. "I don't know, Billy. Probably fly Eddie back to his home then hit the road again, makeup for my absence this past week."

"So you're just going to go back to how things were? Sleeping around, drinking yourself into death, and telling jokes you don't even write?" Bill asked. Upon seeing the shock on Richie's face he elaborated, "I may not have remembered you, but for some reason anytime a tabloid of the great comedian Richie Tozier popped up I'd read it."

"Just like how I kept reading your books even though the endings remained shit."

"Fuck of, R-Richie."

Richie looked down at his hands and sighed, pushing the brim of his glasses up again. "I don't know where to go from here, Big Bill. What do I do? All that's changed since coming here is I remembered my best loser friends and I got a lifetime worth of extra trauma added. So fuck if I know...maybe I don't want to fucking remember."

"You don't mean that."

Richie's eyes flickered back to the hospital, "Maybe. Maybe not. All I know is I'm leaving here with just as much as I came here with, maybe even less. It's shitty Bill...worse than the grey water."

A bright yellow cab came to a stop in front of them, a sign that it was Bills turn to leave. They both stood and Richie walked Bill to it with a big smile, "Maybe stop being a little bitch and write a good book this time?"

"Wait, Richie. Come on, I wanna go one last place before I leave," Bill said as he forced his bag into the room. "It won't take long, I promise. Eddie will be alright."

Richie nodded reluctantly and climbed in beside him. Bill whispered the place to the cabbie so Richie wouldn't hear and silently they took off. Less than ten minutes later they arrived and got out with Bill telling the cabbie to wait a moment for them. They walked together in a place that was legendary when they were children.

"What the hell are we doing at the kissing bridge?" Richie asked, scrunching his nose up in disgust. "I'm flattered, but I don't really like you in that way. I hope we can still be-"

"Shut the f-fuck up, Richie," said Bill as they walked until stopping before a place Richie was all too familiar with. "Recognize this?"

Carved into the wood with big bold letters was R+E. Of course Richie recognized it since he was the one that wrote it when he was younger, carving his secret into wood was the closest he ever came to speaking it. Giving it a name and reality. Richie pushed his glasses up nervously, suddenly afraid at how this would end. _How the fuck does Bill know about this?_ He thought.

"I fucking knew Rachel White and Elias Stein we bumping uglies!" Richie exclaimed.

Bill didn't buy it for a second, looking at him with such a deadpanned face that even Richie had to drop his smile. Richie sighed deeply, pulling a pocketknife out of his hoodie and moving forward to re-carve the fading letters.

"How'd you know?" He asked quietly, feeling like he was 13 again.

"I always knew, Richie. All of us did, even if you and Eddie couldn't admit it to yourselves. That you love him and he loves you." Bill said, taking the knife from Richie's shaking hands and finished carving the E for him. "It's alright, Rich."

Richie took off his glasses and pressed his palms against his eyes to wipe his tears, the pressure so hard sparks invaded the darkness. He couldn't bring himself to calm down or crack a joke. He just sat there sobbing quietly as Bill wrapped his arm tightly around him to remind him he wasn't alone.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Bill. Eddie is married and I-I'm just me. It doesn't matter!" He cried, allowing the pain and heartbreak of the last two weeks washing over him. Pain from remembering these repressed emotions, remembering the hatred and fear they brought with them. Heartbreak over getting Eddie and almost losing him, even though in reality he was never his to lose.

"Of course it matters, Richie. You're amazing, we all know it but Eddie most of all. You have to talk to him, you have to allow yourself to be open and true. How you feel matters."

"I told you," Richie whispered. He looked up at Bills blurry confused face and elaborated, "You don't always stutter, Bill."

"I love you, Richie. No matter what."

* * *

Eddie woke up in the middle of the night, his left shoulder throbbing in pain and this right arm surprisingly warm. The moonlight fluttered through the window blinds as he looked around, relieved to be safe without any sign of a monster. He looked down at his side and was surprised to see Richie had fallen asleep with half his head laying on Eddie's thigh while his hand held his own tightly. Despite his pain Eddie couldn't help but smile, glad that he's not alone and Richie was the one waiting with him. 

"Rich," He whispered, squeezing the other mans hand. "Wake up, asshole!"

Richie woke up with a start, gasping and looking around frantically. _Afraid_. He readjusted his crooked glasses before looking back at Eddie, surprised that he was awake, and calmed down.

"Hey, Eds—I mean Eddie." Richie whispered, voice husky with sleep.

"Sorry, you fell asleep on my hand and I couldn't move to up my morphine. Where is everyone?"

"They all left a few hours ago, remember? You were up when they came to say goodbye." Richie groaned, running his hands down his face. "Bev said she'll call us in the morning and Mike is going to stop by tomorrow afternoon sometime."

"Why the hell don't I remember this? Shit, do you think I have a brain injury? Fuck, maybe we should get the nurses and—"

"For fucks sake, Eddie, you don't have head trauma. You've been drugged to hell on pain medication the past week, that's why you can't remember."

Eddie leaned back and forced himself to calm down, glad that the throbbing has already begun to die down. He looked down desperately at his missing left arm, flashes of memory from that moment sparking into mind, before turning back to Richie.

"Why are you still here? Why didn't you leave with the others?" He asked quietly.

"Lost the coin toss," Richie jokes before sobering up. "No, uh, I wanted to stay here until you got better. Figured once you were good enough to transfer I'd help you fly back to your home before going my own way."

"Oh," Eddie mumbled, "thanks, Richie."

They fell into an awkward silence, Richie unconscious rubbed soothing circles into Eddies hand, before a loud shrilling noise interrupted them. They both jumped, with Eddie giving a squeaked scream, before they realized it was just the phone. Richie reached over and pulled Eddies phone off the charger, looking at the caller ID.

"Your moms—sorry I mean your wife is calling," Richie said, removing his hand from Eddies and replacing it with the phone. "I can leave—"

"No!" Eddie shouted, eyes glued to the phone for a moment. "Please don't."

Richie nodded and leaned back in the chair as Eddie answered. The shrill yelling of Myra could be heard from where he sat, forcing him to bite his tongue from the avalanche of jokes resting on it. Eddie winced and held the phone from his ear a moment until the screaming died down.

"Myra—"

The screaming started again and Richie couldn't help but laugh. He laughed loud and hard, remembering the years when Eddies mother would scream like a mad woman when he came back home with a paper cut. He slapped his hand over his mouth at the incredible stink eye Eddie gave him followed up by the mouthing of 'Fuck You!'.

"Myra—Well I'm talking to you now aren't—No, I didn't take the—WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME!" Eddie shouted.

Richie's eyes went wide with shock, all laughter suddenly replaced with surprise. He'd never imagined seeing Eddie stand up to a tyrant with such profanity and confidence (he couldn't help but find Eddie more attractive). The shock seemed to settle of Eddie too, whose eyes were wide and face white before he continued.

"I'm not coming home, Myra. I—I want a divorce. You're wrong about me, you know? I'm not sick and I'm not fragile because I never have been. It took coming back to Derry to kill a fucking clown to realize I basically married my goddamn mother. Well, I'm fucking done. Goodbye!" Eddie ended the call and tosses his phone across the room, as if afraid it would burn him.

"Holy Shit!" Richie exclaimed with a laugh, clapping his hands together as if he was applauding the greatest performance he'd ever seen.

"I can't believe I just did that! Holy fuck, what did i just do? Shit, Shit, shit." Eddie rambled in a panic as he turned to Richie. Upon seeing Richie's proud face he started to laugh, "I just fucking did that!"

"Yeah you did, you beautiful asshole! I'm so proud that after 27 years you've finally grown some balls!"

"Fuck you, dick!" Eddie shouted, before laughing as well.

It took a moment before they regained their senses and calmed down enough to sit in silence again. Eddie touched the bandage in his cheek before resting his hand on the opposite shoulder, feeling a sort of sadness for his loss. _Better an arm that your life_, he told himself.

"I'm really proud of you, Ed—Eddie."

"Why don't you call me Eds anymore, Richie?"

The question hit him unexpectedly, especially since he hadn't thought the other would notice. He forced himself to look away from those intrusive eyes, taking off his glasses to clean them on the bed linens.

"You said you hate being called it, so I figured it was time I give into your wishes."

Eddie pondered that a moment, watching curiously at the others sudden shyness. Never once had Richie cared about Eddies wishes when it came to silly compliments or nicknames, so why now? The idea of Richie never calling him Eds again made him so sad, like he was losing a part of himself, that he couldn't help what he said next.

"I don't hate it."

Richie looked up, replacing his glasses, "You don't? But you always told me you did, I mean it was literally your last fucking words before..."

"I never hated it, not really. I was just fucking around with you."

"Well fuck you too, spaghetti head. Forgive me for not thinking that while you were potentially on your death bed your last fucking words were a fucking joke, asshat. Didn't think to do something a little less insulting, like telling me you fucked my mom or something?"

"Well excuse me for not considering your feelings after my arm was chewed off, asshole!"

They both huffed in annoyance and said nothing more. Eddie didn't realize how affected him almost dying had on Richie until now. Didn't realize his last words meant so much that Richie took them to heart. Richie couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Eddie actually liked and wanted to be called Eds, despite his past resistance to the nickname.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.

"Did we really kill It, Richie?" Eddie asked him dropping his hand to flick Richie's. "Is It really gone?"

"Yeah, Eds, we really killed It." Richie responded, intertwining their fingers. "We don't have to be afraid anymore."

"I am afraid though. I'm so fucking terrified all the time. I-I always have been..."

Richie nodded, "Yeah, so am I. What're you going to do now?"

"I don't know, Rich. What about you?"

"No fucking idea, but then again that's never changed."

There was something lingering in the air, something tense and heavy. An opportunity has presented itself to them, laying within arms reach, and all they had to do was take it. To confront their fears like they confronted a demon and kick its ass. Shout it out with pride instead of holding it back like they have for so long...but how?

"I've gotta tell ya something, Eds." Richie whispered, trying to disguise the tremor in his voice. "I gotta tell you something and you gotta promise not to be a dick about it."

"I swear to fuck if this is another mom joke I'll kick your ass, one armed or not." Eddie jokes before seeing that Richie wasn't laughing. "Okay, Richie, you can tell me. I won't make fun, promise."

Richie looked around the room and found a small closet. Squeezing Eddies hand one last time he forced himself up and walked towards it. The white door didn't have those bloodied very scary written across it, but the feeling from before still lingered in his chest as he opened it. _There's nothing to be afraid of, there's nothing to be afraid of_, he told himself as he walked in and closed the door.

"Uh, Richie? What the fuck are you doing?"

Richie responded by opening the door open suddenly, popping out, and announcing "I like dick!"

Eddie blinked a few times, trying to understand what the hell just happened, and said nothing. He watched as Richie stayed in the pose a moment longer before standing and walking back to the chair as if nothing happened, though the worry lingering in his eyes remained.

"Wait-" Eddie said softly, "You're gay?"

Richie's lip trembled slightly despite his best attempts to remain composed, "Y-Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I still like girls sometimes but um, but yeah. Yeah I'm, uh, I'm also fucking gay."

Eddie nodded slowly, before reaching forward and grabbing Richie's hand again, "Okay, Rich. That's okay, alright?"

Richie nodded softly, releasing the breath he was holding back and trying not to cry. He still couldn't bring himself to look up at Eddie, which meant he couldn't see the inner panic attack that the other man was having. Eddies eyes were wide as saucers as he felt his heart beating in his throat.

"I—" he started quietly. "I'm gay too, Richie. I don't even, well I never really did... I think I'm really gay too, Richie. Like incredibly fucking gay..."

"But Myra—"

"If I was a straight man I would've ran as far away from that crazy bitch the moment I met her," Eddie laughed weakly. "I—I've never said it before you know? Not even to myself. These feelings I have had scared me so much, ever since I was younger. Being a fag, a fairy, all of it was so...wrong?"

"Yeah, I never did either. Growing up in this fucking place did nothing but make me want to forget...it's why I make so many sex jokes. Well that and because sex jokes are the fucking best shit ever."

Eddie laughed softly, "Beep Beep, Richie."

"It's true, you know? Your mom told me she loved my sex jokes."

"Oh for fucks sake, Richie! Shove your mom jokes up your ass."

The unspoken love lingered in the air, so close to being spoken they could taste it. However, now wasn't the time. They weren't ready to cross that line yet, not after the shit they've been through in such little time and not with how late it was. That was a confession that could remain hidden away for a moment longer, even if it's been on hold for 3 decades.

* * *

"Your house is way too nice for a hobo like you to be living here," Eddie announces after properly moving into Richie's home In Beverly Hills, California.

"It's too nice for you too, Mr. Roboto," Richie said in a robotic voice, moving stiffly to the Robot.

He laughed as he ducked the book Eddie threw with his good hand, breaking down the last packing box. Nearly a month has passed since the losers beat It, a month without forgetting. Since then Eddie had gotten fitted for his prosthetic arm, begun the divorce process with Myra, and has now finished moving in with Richie. Despite what he lost, he's the happiest he's been in for as long as he can remember.

"Make another robot joke and I'll personally beat you to death with my fucking arm!" Eddie growled, throwing himself back into the large living room couch. 

"Your words hurt me, Eddie my love. Truly, I'm devastated. Maybe you can come over here and KISS MY ASS." 

Eddie blushes at the nickname, just like he always had, and said nothing. Their banter was broaching the line of something more, something more romantic rather than friendship. It felt new, like an adventure yet to be explored, but also exciting. Even if they hadn't spoken it, the truth was becoming more clear.

"We should frame his note," Richie said suddenly, finding the letter from Stan on his counter as he approached it.

Eddie sat up and propped his head on the cushion, "Yeah, Richie, I think he would've liked that. It'd look nice by the hallway entrance, next to the bookcase."

Richie waked over to a pile of photos sitting next to the trash, photos of Myra and Eddie that were going to be thrown away. He grabbed the best frame, popping it open and replacing the horrid wedding photo with the letter instead. Then he grabbed a tac and walked down to the hallway.

Eddie was behind him by the time Richie had it hung up. He stepped closer, resting his head lazily on Richie's shoulder, and used his good arm to reach across and tilt the frame so it was even. Richie stood frozen as a statue, hyperaware of their closeness, and let it all happen.

"Be who you want to be...be proud." Eddie whispered, partly to himself and partly to Richie.

An overwhelming sense of want, a want to make Stanley and himself proud, over came him as he forced Richie to turn and face him. They were closer now, chests touching and breaths brushed over each other's faces.

"Fuck it!" Eddie whispered before pushing forward and kissing Richie.

A kiss that didn't happen to save his life. A kiss that wasn't full of fear. Unlike that first kiss, one that Richie can't really remember, this kiss was full of life. It tasted of love and excitement and sweetness of childhood wishes becoming reality. 

"I love you, Trashmouth." Eddie whispered as they pulled apart.

"I love you too, Eds."

**Author's Note:**

> The end! If you would like to see more Reddie or other IT inspired stories let me know! I really had fun writing this. Don’t mind all the Beep Beeps, it’s personally my favorite book saying. Or if you have any other requests comment as well. Anyways dears, as always feedback is welcome and appreciated.- K


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